DISASTER BEFALLS THE SCBA - MUGGINS IS THE BULLETIN EDITOR!

In his own words: "I was tired at the AGM and my eyelids closed for a moment. Somebody directed a question at me and being an affable fellow I smiled and nodded. They told me afterwards that I was the new Bulletin Editor. I don't feel well."

Muggitorial

So, what do you think of it so far? Really? Well it gets no better. Editors are usually well-dressed, intelligent, staid individuals. I'm not into intelligence, all my partners tell me so........ frequently. When I wear a suit it usually looks as though its previous job was as a dustbin liner. Staid is a good description of me, but not of my writing. My writing is a joke (interpret that as you will).

In any magazine which is written for its readers by its readers, the quality, content and length is decided by the members of the Organisation. Accordingly I welcome, and will publish articles of quality and erudition; also articles that are rubbish. The latter may be added to, subtracted from, demolished and recombined but it will published.

You have a bridge related story but can't put it together or don't have the time: jot the details down any-old-how and send to me, something will emerge in print. Short anecdotes and one liners (e.g. daffy definitions) are useful to fill in the odd lines at the bottom of page so as to save starting a fresh article in the last inch of the page (yours cannot be any worse than mine).

I hope the above gives you some idea of the editorial policy currently prevailing. Remember they told me 'just put something together; they didn't say it had to be good (which is just as well considering what you are about to read).

County Pairs League - Summer Heats

These were a disaster, and those who made up 2½ table movement on the fourth heat (previous: 5, 4½, 3½) decided to abandon the last 4 heats scheduled for July and August. The idea of a County night where you can meet fresh faces from around the County in friendly combat is a good one. Obviously the present format isn't. Traditionally it is an ongoing pairs competition with so many results to count (e.g. best 6 out of 8). But perhaps it ought also to be an evening where pairs can turn up for a game and get a small prize if they win on the night.

Don't forget to look for details of the Winter Pairs League and turn up to play.

Shropshire

Currently the players from this County join the EBU via Staffordshire and the E.B.U. have suggested that we make it 'official' by incorporating their County name into our current title i.e. to become the Staffordshire and Shropshire Contract Bridge Association (SSCBA). Only an AGM has the power to do this and it will be on the agenda for next year. One Day Event - National green pointed pairs, March 1985 at the County Showground. Arthur and Basil have been working on this and so far all the signs are favourable. It will entail considerable organisation and undoubtedly as the date looms closer Arthur will be requesting cooperation from Clubs and individuals. Let us all ensure it is a success for the County.

Finally, if your Club's results are not in this Bulletin they will be in the next,

R.W.M.

COUNTY RESULTS 1983-84

Alsager Bridge Club Results and Report

Alsager players were not prominent in County pairs competitions this year, the best results being fourth places for Dennis and Elsie Brookes in the Flitch and for Andy Edbury and Ted, Gibbons, in the Restricted Pairs. However, Barbara Kitchenham and Ian Pendlebury won the North West Mixed Pairs Championship, from a field of 46, at Bolton Bridge Club last October.

Fortunately greater success was achieved in team competitions. Graham Robinson gained promotion to the Second Division as a member of Ray Stubbs' team. Martyn Harris' team, with B. Kitchenham and I. Pendlebury, won the Second Division and also reached the Staffs Cup Final where it lost to Bob Beech's team. The Harris League team (+2) also had success outside the County when it reached the Final of the Silver Plate.

Finally, Barbara Kitchenham and Pauline Rudolf played in the trials to select the English Ladies Team. Although they were unsuccessful the experience gained will be invaluable for the future.

CHASETOWN TIGHT FINISHES Jim Riley

In the first round of the Staffs Cup we were drawn against Pat Poxon's team and by half-time we had built up a useful lead of 40 imps. However, the second half was somewhat less successful -and we eventually scraped through to the next round by a solitary imp. Against Ray Stubbs' team we again were 40 imps up at the half -way mark, only to see the lead whittled away in the second half - we hung on to win by a mere 5 imps. [Editorial Note: In an attempt to lengthen this article I asked Ray to contribute a hand from this match. He came up with the following:

He played in 1 NT making 11 tricks and on the other table they played in 3D making 12 tricks. His contention was that had his team bid game the result would have been reversed. Clearly this is very uninteresting and there is no way in which I could use such a hand.]

In the Quarter final playing Jenny Eadon's team we were relieved to find ourselves 6 imps in arrears at half-time. Obviously we were IMProving! The second half produced only two swings of note and the hand which won the match was a bit of a freak:

After a spirited auctions at both tables the final contracts were 4C doubled (+510) and 5C doubled (-100). The swing of 12 imps was very welcome and we won by the narrow margin of 5 imps. [Editorial Note No. 2: Jim does not give any account of his semi-final battle and it would be very remiss of me not to mention that his team lost. . . by 61 imps. I'm sure everyone knows that half of Jim's team (or, as they would put it, three-quarters) consists of Gwynneth Derry and Elaine Watterson. Many years ago I played against them and after one hand I turned and spoke to one of them and referred to her partner as 'your friend'. The response was immediate: "She's no friend of mine, she's my sister". Incidentally, I learned just recently that they have another sister, Pat Tabbenor. All these years and I never knew - mind you I don't blame her for keeping quiet about it.....]

Basford Bridge Club Results

Stafford Bridge Club Results

Chasetown Bridge Club Results

Newport Bridge Club Results

Shrewsbury Bridge Club Results

Slogan for the Laws and Ethics Committee: Bridge Rules, O. K.

SYSTEMS, CONVENTIONS, TREATMENTS AND THINGS

This section may be a quiz, an arena for discussion or just plain rubbish. It may contain ideas that are complex or so simple as to be trivial. If you want anything in between you'll have to write it. If you want something trivial presented in a complex manner, leave it to me - I'm a specialist.

Summary

In certain auctions one partner may make it clear that he cannot proceed to an otherwise good slam because of the lack of a control in a specific suit. Once this is evident his partner should:

• (a) Pass with no control
• (b) Bid the slam directly with a singleton or the King and Queen
• (c) Cue-bid with first round control so as to pave the way for a possible Grand Slam
• (d) Holding the guarded King he must play the slam from his side, either in his own suit or in

Notrumps. (If neither seems reasonable then sign-off),

PERCENTAGE PLAY - the 2% chance that Muggins goes for in preference to the 85% chance that everybody else takes
POSITIONAL SQUEEZE - what Muggins gives his girlfriend.
TRUMP CONTROL - discarding on trump leads as to save some for ruffing later on,

I've always thought that what the Bulletin needed was a rip-snorting Saga of sex and violence, and so I offer you ...................

This is about as violent and sexy as I'll allow the Bulletin to become. Well, what did you expect from bridge player? And I do like happy endings, don't you?

PRECISION BIDDING IN ACOL by Eric Crowhurst. Published by Pelham Books

An excellent book in just about every respect. A full coverage of the Traditional Acol methods, its strengths and weaknesses, leads to comparison with the modern approach and explains why the new ideas were developed.

The Chapters on some of the more obscure areas such as 'Fourth Suit Forcing' and 'Belated Support', are of sufficient detail for you to play in his recommended style comfortably without having to work out too much for yourself. Occasionally he describes quite radical new treatments which he believes are mprovements or the traditional methods. In particular he does go on a bit about a wide range one notrump rebid which he has given the weird name of Crowhurst .......

Do you have 'Bidding the Third Suit' sorted out? Read the appropriate chapter; I'll bet there are a few sequences that you and your partner haven't even discussed, let alone have agreement on. The multi-purpose two diamond opener (Acol Two or a strong three suiter) is novel, as is the Modified Baron Three Clubs response to a two notrump opener used to unearth opener's five card major; for both of these you do require a good memory, or a forgiving partner!

A very useful 'Index to Bidding Sequences' is included in the back of the book which would allow partnerships to clear up misunderstandings quickly, without having to wade through reams of text to find the offending sequence.

A clear and very readable book, full of example hands that are well ex­plained in a pleasing laconic style. Altogether a definitive work. If marooned on a desert isle and allowed only one textbook on the Acol System then this is the one for me.

Q. Early history of the SCBA? Date of inaugural meeting?
Q. Date of the first Bulletin? Anyone have a full set?

SAFETY PLAY - the trick Muggins gives up which ensures he goes one off.
AVOIDANCE - Practised by many when it is known that Muggins is looking for a partner.

HEARTS ANYONE? - MUGGINS PONDERS

Captain Turf, Headmaster, Austrian Princess and myself journeyed to Newport to sample their Swiss Teams. Full of confidence after our recent progression through to the third round of the Gold Cup it was obvious that we would walk it easily (or limp it in A. P.'s case since she had her leg in plaster - broken while fishing for sticklebacks on the canal side with her mother; strange these foreigners). The first match threw up a hand where we could demonstrate our smooth bidding technique:

11 imps to opponents who reached the easy 6H but missed the Grand Slam which is playable in three strains. Our bidding has improved a lot since then and I can assure you that we would now get get to the Grand Slam, probably in diamonds.

Have you a defence when partner's 2NT opening is doubled for penalties? C.T. and I have:

Opponent has umpteen hearts, guarded King of diamonds and the Ace of clubs (what is 2NT doubled and redoubled? Difficult to play there in our case, because redouble is a transfer to clubs).

On the other table the opponents have a free run to the unbeatable 5D contract - such is life. This

17 - 3 beating in VP's puts us at the bottom tables and a 15-5 win takes us as back up the room. "Good exercise for your leg" I assure the Princess and, nimbly ducking her swinging walking stick, seek safe refuge on opponent's table.

Molly is my LHO and on four consecutive hands she is dealt the Ace of clubs and leads it at trick one each time; we gained 31 imps on those cards and, surprisingly, the lead gives nothing away on any of them. She mad short work of the following hand:

Spades broke 3-3 and 12 tricks were made. Opponent on the other table decided to chance his arm with an overcall which succeeded beyond his wildest expectations:

Now I am an expert at playing in cue-bids due to vast experience, but for Headmaster it was quite traumatic. The few extra grey hairs he had cultivated due to the auction were multiplied when the hearts perversely broke 5-2 and he had to go down (what a fun game this is). 14 imps away but we still won 15-5 in VP's.

The fourth match saw this layout with E/W vulnerable and West the dealer:

Opponent opens one heart and after two passes I bid two spades. West can bid three clubs now which will be music to his partner's ears, but he decides on three hearts. Captain Turf draws his cutlass and gives this the chop (in an attempt to shut me up) and I, with extreme reluctance and great foreboding, pass. After the third undertrick I'm feeling pleasantly relaxed and the gain of 8 imps helps us to 15-5 in VP's. One more good win in the last match must bring us close, I'm thinking. "There isn't another match", says C.T., "They're only playing five rounds". We are third overall, losing second place by 1 VP and the prizes go all the way down to second place. Aaaarrhh!

Afterword

The second hand in this article was sent in to a Bridge Magazine by C. T. for use in their bidding competition. (One of us got the tens wrong)

South's double earned him several comments from the experts:

• 'maniac'
• 'compliments to South'
• 'I don't believe it'
• 'he is either a lunatic or a genius' (Giving me this much copy I think he's a genius)

Since the Magazine's bidding system did not have our sophisticated machinery you are forced to use natural methods. I eventually chose 3D and according to the competition director this is about as good as my original attempt at finding the best contract. He gave 10 points for 3NT .....Baron. So the auction continues:

Obvious isn't it? I'm sure you all got it right. If you see me at Newport this year, don't forget to wave.

Newport Swiss Teams Congress - Sunday, 7 th October, 1984. 2.00pm start
To be held at: Lilleshall Sports Centre, Ford Hall
£18 per team
Further details and application forms from: Mr. A. Soar, Humber Way, Donnington, Telford, Salop

SQUEEZE - What Muggins gets from his mum.

• BRIDGE - a sophisticated mode of torture, invented during the 20 th century, calculated to infuriate and frustrate the proletariat while allowing them to believe they are enjoying themselves.
• TRUMP SUIT - the denomination Muggins is playing in when he should be in Notrumps.
• NOTRUMPS - the denomination Muggins is playing in when he should be in a suit.
• DUCKING - Another bridge manoeuvre; used by Muggins during the Post Mortem.

STOP PRESS

M. Harris' team of C. Barnard, I. Pendlebury, B. Kitchenham, P. Brereton, and B. Nicholls won their semi-final match in the Silver Plate by 27 imps, but lost in the final by a heart breaking 10 imps.

DAWES V LEICESTERSHIRE

The County opened the new Dawes season on 8 th July with a visit to last year's Champions.

Editor: Roy Martin, Baron St, Fenton, ST4 3PH. SOT