This elderly genteman goes to the Dr. for his annual checkup. The Dr. is impressed that this man is in even better health that he was the year before. Curious, he asks him what he does for mental stimulation. The man answers that he plays duplicate bridge. The doctor, a bridge player, tell him that's great. "And what do you do for physical stimulation?" ''I sit East-West" is the reply.
A club is led against a 7D contract and declarer has four clubs to the jack. His partner, the dummy, says: "I have some good and some bad news for you. The good news is that I am void in clubs, the bad news is that I am also void in diamonds."
A Bridge Teacher is called over to a table and an elderly gentleman student tells him that he has opened 1H and there have been three passes back to him so he bids 2H .... again there were three passes back to him so he wants to know if his hand is worth a 3H bid?
Patrick Jourdain, a famous bridge player-teacher from Wales is called over to a table at one of his classes where a hand has just passed out, but 4th hand had 17 high card points. "So why did you pass?" asks Patrick. "Because you told us after three passes the bidding is over, so I had to pass."