
The real test of a bridge player isn't in keeping out of trouble, but in escaping once he's in it.
-Alfred Sheinwold
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If you have the slightest touch of masochism, you'll love this game.
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Bridge is a great comfort in old age. It also helps you get there faster. One gets used to abuse. It's the waiting that is so trying.
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Years ago there were only two acceptable reasons for not leading partner's suit: (1) having no cards in the suit; (2) a death wish.
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Hear about the guy who led the 8 from a 98 doubleton because his teacher told him "eight ever, nine never?"
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Two guys play duplicate in the afternoon, go to a restaurant for dinner and discuss all the hands writing all over the tablecloth and napkins. They go back and play in the evening and return to the same restaurant and start going over the hands again. Finally Jim says: "Bill, don't we know anything but bridge? Can't we discuss something else, anything else, movies, politics sports, sex? "Sex, says Bill, I had sex diamonds to the king-queen.."

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