“Pre-Mortem” Bridge Warm-Up Routine
(Estimated time: 7 minutes, unless you get distracted by complaining about your last partner.)

1. Cardio-lite: The Tournament Strut (1 min)

• Walk briskly around the venue or your kitchen table, pretending to look for the restroom.
• Swing your arms gently. Add flair like you’re holding two aces you’re not going to misplay today.
• Bonus: Huff indignantly every few steps for realism.

2. Finger Flexes: The Deal Dealer (1 min)

• Stretch fingers wide like you’re about to dramatically slam a double down.
• Close into a fist like you just saw your partner open 1NT with a singleton.
• Wiggle fingers rapidly for 20 seconds. Repeat twice.
• Optional: Pretend to deal cards while muttering “Why me?”

3. Neck & Shoulder Rolls: The Silent Judger (2 min)

• Roll your shoulders back slowly. Channel the weight of every poor bid you’ve ever witnessed.
• Tilt your head side to side like you’re trying to hear your partner’s thoughts and are deeply disappointed by what you find.
• Roll your neck like you’re preparing to look up at the ceiling in frustration. You’ll need this later.

4. Seated Core: The Tournament Plank (1 min)

• Sit upright in your chair.
• Pull your belly button toward your spine like you just saw your hand and are trying not to let the horror show on your face.
• Hold for 30 seconds. Look unbothered. Release. Repeat.
• Bonus: Cross arms in disdain while holding core tight.

5. Breathing Drills: The Passive-Aggressive Exhale (2 min)

• Inhale through the nose: “I’m calm, composed, and fully capable.”
• Exhale through the mouth: “That was not the correct response to a takeout double, Carl.”
• Repeat slowly 4–5 times, eyes closed, as if imagining a world where everyone plays standard conventions and no one invents their own system.

🧘 Optional Cooldown: The Existential Post-Mortem (Duration: Eternal)

• Reflect on how none of this matters, because your opponents are 86 years old and keep outplaying you anyway.

Post Mortem: “I warmed up for bridge and all I got was this lousy top board.”

“Pre-Mortem” Bridge Warm-Up Routine
(Estimated time: 7 minutes, unless you get distracted by complaining about your last partner. ..........

In 2025 your club will be running 12 (yes, 12!) handicap competitions.

There will be one handicap competition for each of our Monday, Friday and Saturday sessions, running for each quarter year.

There will be 13 events in each of the first 3 quarters, less any days that are special events, such as Pairs Championships, or any Teams events. The 4th quarter will be over fewer events, finishing in time for end-of-year activities.

These are individual competitions, and personal handicaps will be applied even though the sessions are pairs events. Personal handicaps will be rolling over 3 months, as calculated by BridgeWebs. The winner will be the player with the highest aggregate handicap score for the qualifying events.

The first and second prize for each competition will be a free game. 

If you play more than the events counted for any competition, (discounting Teams and Championships) up to two of your worst handicap scores will be ignored for your competition aggregate. For example:

• Q1 Mondays: Bega interclub + 2 worst scores ignored = 10 best scores count
• Q1 Fridays: Autumn Teams 2 days + 2 worst scores ignored = 9 best scores count
• Q1 Saturdays: No special events: 2 worst scores ignored = 11 best scores count

It will make no difference if you change partners during any competition; your individual score will be calculated using your individual handicap. There is no minimum number of events that you must play, but of course if you play less than others, your aggregate score will probably be less. 

In 2025 your club will be running 12 (yes, 12!) handicap competitions.

There will be one handicap competition for each of our Monday, Friday and Saturday sessions, running for each quarter year.

There will be 13 events in each of the first 3 quarters, less any days that are special events, such as Pairs Championships, or any Teams events. ..........