|
|
| God Bless America |
God Bless America! A Thought from Bill.
Donald Trump went to London and met with the Queen.
"Your Queenship, “ he asked her. “I am finding things way more difficult than I could have imagined.
May I ask you - how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?”
“Well," replied Her Majesty, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Trump frowned. "But how do you know the people around you are really intelligent?" he asked.
"Oh, that's easy” the Queen replied. “You just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle”
She pushed a button on her intercom. “Please send Theresa May in here."
The Prime Minister walked into the room. “You called for me, Your Majesty?"
"Answer me this, if you would, Theresa. “ the Queen said. “Your mother and father have a child.
It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?”
Without pausing for even a second, Theresa May answered, “That would be me."
"Yes! Very good,” said the Queen.
Trump went back home, returned to the White House and the very next day called for Mike Pompeo to see him.
Pompeo duly trotted in to the Oval Office . “Mike, answer this for me,’ said the Don.
“Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?”
"I'm not sure," said Pompeo. “Let me get back to you on that one.
Pompeo went panicking off to his advisers and asked everyone, but none of them could give him an answer.
The next night, as it happened, Pompeo ran in to Hillary Clinton in a restaurant.
By now, desperate for an answer to give to his tyrannical boss, he approached her – much to her surprise.
“Hillary, I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye but I would really appreciate it if you could answer this riddle for me
“Sure, Mike “Hillary said. “I’m not one to hold a grudge. What is it?”
“Thanks, said Pompeo,” It’s this. Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”
Hillary answered right back, “That's easy, it's me!"
Pompeo smiled, “Thanks!"
Pompeo then went back to speak with Trump. "Say, boss, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle.
It’s Hillary Clinton.”
Trump got up, stomped over to Pompeo, and angrily yelled at him "No, you idiot! It’s Theresa May!"
.. AND THAT, IS PRECISELY WHAT'S GOING ON AT THE WHITE HOUSE..
God bless America.
|
|
|
|
| Letter from our Chairman Veronica |
Dear Members
I hope all is still well with you all.
We have missed each other’s company for so many months.
Although we have kept in touch with each other on the phone it is now so nice to be able to meet up outside
as I am sure many of you are doing.
I would like to thank Derek for his work in organising online bridge.
I hope you will continue to support him by taking part in the Tuesday and Saturday club events.
For those who are not playing online I hope we will be back together in the club in the future-whenever that may be.
I know how much we have all missed our bridge and each other
Stay safe and well
Veronica
|
|
|
|
| BBO Bridge |
The fourth Gwent club event on BBO will take place on Tuesday August 11th at 7.00pm.
You can only register for these events two hours before they are due to start ie 5.00pm to 7.0pm.
For further details contact Derek Roberts or Mike Clarke.
|
|
|
|
| Stepbridge |
Stepbridge results now on lhs index.
The fifth Gwent duplicate session is on Saturday August 8th at 7.00pm.
You can join Stepbridge by clicking here. Stepbridge.
As Stepbridge is still new to club members Derek Roberts has offered to run some sessions where members could use the system without any pressure of an actual competition.
Derek can now offer indivual help just one other person on line.
He would then go through using Stepbridge, the bidding, self alerting etc.
If you would like some help to get playing on Stepbridge please contact Derek Roberts. |
|
|
|
| Oscar Winners |
Send your list of answers to Bill by Sunday August 16h 12.00 noon.
If there is a draw Mrs Bill will draw the winner out of the hat.
|
|
|
|
| Colours in Books |
Quiz by Ann Kelly.
Send your list of answers to Bill by Saturday August 15h 12.00 noon.
If there is a draw Mrs Bill will draw the winner out of the hat.
Books by these authors all contain a colour.
Some have more than one book with a colour but only one answer is needed.
- E.L.James.
- Anna Sewell.
- Ian Fleming.
- Phillip Pullman.
- Stephen King.
- Alice Walker.
- Dr Seuss.
- Arthur Conan Doyle.
- Roald Dahl.
- Piper Kerman ( two colours in this title).
Kath Fewster John Dewsnap Richard Welsford
|
|
|
|
| Brain Gymnastics |
Quiz by Ann Kelly.
Send your list of answers to Bill by Wednesday August 12th 12.00 noon.
If there is a draw Mrs Bill will draw the winner out of the hat.
Some questions have more than one answer but only one answer is needed.
Brain Gymnastics:
- When do eight and seven come before six?
- You have three pets : George, John and Paul. One is a cat. One is a dog. One is a rabbit. One is 4 years old. One is is five years old. One is six years old. The dog is younger than Paul. The rabbit’s name comes before the five year old’s name in the alphabet. The cat’s name is an even number. Can you tell me the names of each pet with their species and age?
- What can travel the world despite being stuck in one place?
- There are some flowers on your windowsill. All but two of them are roses. All but two of them are tulips. All but two of them are lilies. How many of each type of flower is there?
- What runs up and down stairs without moving?
- Six years ago Danny was twice Eddie’s age. Next year their ages will both be square numbers. Their combined age is under 100. How old are they?
- I am the first on Earth,the second in heaven. I appear twice in a week. You can only see me once in a year because I am in the middle of the sea.
- I have teeth but I don’t bite.
- A man rode into town on Monday . He stayed for three nights and then left on Monday. How come?
- Name three consecutive days in English without using the words Tuesday,Thursday or Saturday
John Dewsnap Tina Williamson Peter Smith Paul Nichols
|
|
|
|
| Topical Cartoon |
|
|
Move "mouse" over thumbnail to change
|
|
|
|
|
| Pen Winners |
Mike Samuel(2) Mike Clarke Peter Smith(5) Kath Fewster(5) Ceri Mowat(5)
Richard Welsford(5) Jeff Morgan(4) Derek Roberts(4) Deborah Ashley
Therese French(2) John Harry(4) Iain Brisbane(2) Tina Williamson(2)
Ann Kelly(7) Brian Shepherd David Wall Nishebita Das(2)
John Dewsnap(4) John Hinton(2) June Duffy(4). Guy Thomas Paul Cunningham
Carol Shepherd Allan Snelgrove Veronics Walsh Chris Williamson(2) Linda Morgan
Gwynn Davis Alison Jones
|
|
|
|
| Graham Jones Treasurer |
Graham Jones being presented with a photographic history of the club on his retirement from being club treasurer.
|
 |
|
|
|