CAPITULATION (Author Unknown)
I'm giving up bridge - Tonight's my last night
It's Amen to Staymen, I give up the fight
The insults and muddles are giving me troubles
And I can't sleep at night for thinking of doubles.
My cards are all rotten and I have forgotten
Who's played and what's trumps and what's gone on my right!
So for now its all over - I'm off to the backwood
I'm bidding goodbye to Gerber and Blackwood.
I can't stand the hassle, I can't stand the pain
I'm getting bad cards again and again
So I'm giving up bridge - Tonight's a bad night
Declarer is horrid and nothing's gone right.
My partner's a dope and I'm losing all hope
And when he says 'double' I know we're in trouble.
My points are not high and I'm wondering why
He kept on bidding right up to the sky.
We're in seven spades and all my hope fades
When surprise, surprise, the high bidding pays!
We're winning all tricks; the defenders feel sick
And I have to admit my partner's a brick.
But I'm giving up bridge - Tonight's my last night.
Farewell to conventions - I give up the fight!
So I leave with few words but some that are true
Bridge is a game - not for me but for you.
So be kind to your partners and don't mind their cheek
For its only a game - Oh! yes. I'll see you next week.