Beaumont Bridge Club
Release 2.19n
President 2019-2020 Gertie Heery
President 2019-2020  Gertie Heery

Check out "useful Links" for the websites of  The Contract Bridge Association of Ireland ( and the Dublin North Region (

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Welcome to Beaumont Bridge Club

Sun 20th Sept.

Previous Hands in 'Practice Hands'

The Alcatraz Death Row Bridge Club played to a very high standard. This story revolves around a character by the name of Creepy Cleghorn. Creepy was known all over the USA as the man who admitted to the murders of 15 people, but in the Alcatraz Bridge Club he was known as perhaps the best bridge player to have passed through its gates. Indeed, he was referred to as "The Bridgeman of Alcatraz"

The Bridge Club prided itself on its high ethical standards, it was unheard of for a player to ever criticise his partner. "Just as well they don't allow husbands and wives in here," Spider McCoy often joked.

Creepy was partnered, in the Annual 4th of July Open Gala, with Charlie ("Chainsaw" Charlie) Mulrooney. This was not a match made in heaven. Many people put the source of their rivalry down to the regular beatings Creepy gave Chainsaw in two-handed German Whist. Chainsaw put this down to the bad run he got in the distribution of trumps. This bad run of luck had lasted 15 years, but fellow players thought it unwise to mention this to Charlie.

They were defending against 3NT against Rusty "Razor"Sharpe and Thumbscrew Brannigan.

Chainsaw led the 3♥ , Rusty (Declarer) played low from Dummy, Creepy inserted the 10 and Rusty played the ♥ A. Rusty saw that he only had two Heart winners and thought it might be wise to get rid of the Ace early. Rusty then ran the Q♦ which lost to Creepy's K♦ .

Creepy then played back a Heart. Declarer played low and Chainsaw went up with the K♥. Thumbscrew later maintained that he heard Creepy groan at this stage. Chainsaw then played a club, won by Declarer in hand. He then played a Diamond to the Ace and another Diamond, won by Creepy with the J♦.

In desperation Creepy played a Spade, finessed by Declarer. He then played the J♥ and overtook it with the Q♥, congratulating himself on having earlier played the Ace.

Declarer ended up with the 2 Spades, 2 Hearts, 4 Diamonds and 2 Clubs for a score of Plus one.

"You gave them an overtrick when you played a Spade," said Chainsaw, "I'm surprised you made such a careless play".

"Chainsaw, you are a complete idiot, and the worst bridge player in this club since Spider McCoy's sad demise. All you had to do was duck the Heart I played back to you and let him win on the table. Was it not obvious that we needed to knock the Q♥ off the table before Diamonds were established. Duck the Heart or, if you played it, play another Heart immediately and he wins only 1 Diamond, not 4?"

"I played the King because I assumed that if I let him onto the table all those Diamonds were winners, how was I to know that you had another winner in Diamonds?," said Chainsaw. "If you were as clever as you think you are you wouldn't be in this place," he continued.

"You should have realised that if I didn't have another Diamond our defense was doomed anyway so you needed proceed on this basis and  knock out the Q♥ immediately. And besides, the only reason I'm here is because my ever-loving wife, Phillis, persuaded me to admit my crimes for my inner peace," said Creepy.

"She only did that," replied Chainsaw, "because rumour had it that she  had an eye for Rupert Salsinger"

Creepy lunged over the table and landed a right hook on Chainsaw's chin. Chainsaw replied with a chop to the neck.

"How dare you besmirch my wife's good name, Phillis gave Rupert's advances the brush off. He won't bother her again, as he's now swimming with the fishes," said Creepy.

The wrestling match continued for some time.

"We didn't expect such early fireworks on the 4th July," said Rusty to Thumbscrew.


The Committee has decide that the responsible action is to suspend our Wednesday game indefinitely. The President and Committee wishes all members the best, look after yourselves and follow the HSE protocols. We will be back to the baize tables as soon as possible!

Check here regularly for updates.




All clubs are asked to act responsibly and follow the protocols recommended by the HSE and Department of Health. Most are listed below, but please check official health websites for any updates - 


Wash your hands properly and often.

Cover your mouth and nose with a tissue or your sleeve when you cough and sneeze.

Put used tissues into a bin and wash your hands.

Clean and disinfect frequently touched objects and surfaces.

Try to avoid close contact with people who are not well.

Follow the Travel advice from the Department of Foreign Affairs


Do not touch your eyes, nose or mouth if your hands are not clean.

Wash your hands

You should wash your hands:

  • after coughing or sneezing
  • after toilet use
  • before eating
  • before and after preparing food
  • if you are in contact with a sick person, especially those with respiratory symptoms
  • if your hands are dirty
  • if you have handled animals or animal waste




President's Prize and Dinner POSTPONED

Due to the ongoing Coronavirus the committee have decided that the most sensible approach is to cancel the President's Prize and Dinner due for the 18th and 25th of this month. They will be rearranged for a more suitable date. 

Charity Night

What a great turnout for the Charity Night? 15 full tables. Congrats to all for raising over €550 for our charities:- Pieta House and the Capuchin Day Centre.

Some details about our Club

The Beaumont Bridge Club is affiliated to the Contract Bridge Association of Ireland (CBAI). Our club night is held on a Wednesday evening. We play in the Donnycarney Social Centre. The entrance is at the back of the car park for Donnycarney Church (see main picture). There is ample car parking available. (See also - Information "How to find us").

We start at 7.15pm and finish up between 10.15 and 10.30pm. We provide a good friendly game and all standards are welcome and encouraged. To facilitate this we apply a handicap system to the weekly scores, although master points are awarded on pre-handicap scores. Weekly table money is only €4 and annual subscription is just €30.

We have just begun to use Bridgemates to score at the table, so results are available shortly after play has finished.

Do join us! Visitors are very welcome.

Looking for a Partner?

Searching for a Partner?

Contact our Secretary, Eamon, to be added to the Club's Whats App group, if not already included.

Alternatively, select 'Find a Partner' from the left-side menu and login following the steps outlined on 'News Page'. Your request will also be added to the Whats App group.

Did You Know?

When you view Wednesday's results you can click on your name and see your score per board and also the percentage that you achieved per board.

Also, if you click on the 'Results' button from the Menu on the left of this page, then select 'Personal Analysis' and then click on your name, you will see your recent results and overall percentage scores.

Christmas Photos

Christmas Photos are now on the News Page.

Bridge Base Online

Recently added to 'Useful Links' is Bridge Base Online.

A superb website to play and/or watch bridge!

Wednesday evening at Beaumont Bridge Club
Wednesday evening at Beaumont Bridge Club
For Members Only

Click on 'News Page' from the Left-side menu to get details of how to Register as a Club Member.

Wednesday Pairs
Director: Gerry Delany
Scorer: Select 'Scorecards' for Hands
Wednesday Pairs
Director: Gerry Delany
Wednesday Pairs
Director: Eamon Farrelly