Release 2.19q
"I don't think that's what she meant when she asked for ‘an attitude signal’ to her lead!"
"No matter where I go ...

... I can always make new friends at the bridge table"

Martina Navratilova

♠   ♣

"Don't call me 'Dummy', Fathead!"
"It looked so easy in the bridge column!"
Christmas Fillers
I told my partner about my New Year's Resolution to improve my bridge .....

I plan to review all the errors I made in the session, before I go to sleep.  "Will you ever sleep again?" came the response!

♠   ♣ 

Don't Forget .....
Don't Forget .....

Tudor will be playing on BBO on Thursday 28th December (Beat the Expert Event - hosted by Nigel).  As ever Paul is on hand if you need a partner.

'Anyone for a game of cards?'
'Anyone for a game of cards?'
"Hurray, we were looking for a fourth"
"What's that Meadows? Christmas!! Do you mean to tell me they all stayed away from the bridge club just because of that? BOSH"
The Ultimate Quest
The Ultimate Quest

Three wise Kings came from the West,
On a mission to seek out a Quest.
But how wise could they be,
If they came as a three?
Now with four Kings I would be impressed!

A CHRISTMAS (BRIDGE) STORY

Twas the night before Christmas, two guests in our house

Had started to play bridge with me and my spouse.

"Please tell me," she shouted, "why didn‘t you double?

Twas plain from the start that we had them in trouble!"

"Tis futile, my dear," said I, taking no stand,

"To discuss it with you.  Let us play the next hand."

"Remember next time" said she, using a frown,

"To double a contract that‘s sure to go down."

So I picked up my cards, in a down trodden state,

Then I opened 'One Spade' and awaited my fate.

(EAST DEALER, N/S VULERABLE)           

  NORTH  
  ♠ 9 8 7 6  
   6 5 4 3 2  
   8 7 6 5  
  ♣ -  
WEST   EAST
♠ -   ♠ A K Q J 10
 Q J 10 9    A K 8 7
 K Q J 10 9    -
♣ K Q J 10   ♣ A 9 8 7
  SOUTH  
  ♠ 5 4 3 2  
   -  
   A 4 3 2  
  ♣ 6 5 4 3 2  

The guy sitting South was like many I've known,

He played and he bid in a world all his own.

'Two Diamonds', he countered with scarcely a care;

The ace in his hand gave him courage to spare.

My wife, she smiled faintly, and tossing her head,

Leaned over the table "I double" she said.

And North, for some reason I cannot determine,

Bid Two Hearts as though he were preaching a sermon.

I grinned as I doubled, enjoying the fun,

And turned round to South to see where he would run.

But South, undistressed, not at a loss for a word,

Came forth with 'Two Spades'.  Did I hear what I heard?

The other two passed and in sheer disbelief I said,

"Double, my friend, that'll bring you to grief."

South passed with a nod, his composure serene,

My wife with a flourish led out the heart queen.

I sat there and chuckled inside o'er their fix 

But South very calmly ran off eight straight tricks!

He ruffed the first heart in his hand right away,

And then trumped a club on the very next play.

He crossruffed the hand at a breathtaking pace

Till I was left holding five spades to the Ace.

In anguish my wife cried, "Your mind‘s growing old!

Don‘t you see Six No Trumps in your hand is ice cold?"

By doubling this time I had committed a sin,

It just goes to prove that you never can win!