Two years have gone by since our lessons began
How can that possibly be?
But with 59 handouts piled up in my files
The Truth, well it is right here to see
Way back in September two thousand and nine
We trouped in so jolly and keen
Ignorance is bliss as the old saying goes
We certainly found out what that means.
The black ones are spades and the frilly ones clubs
The red ones are diamonds and hearts
Four Points for an ace, three for a king
Very soon we were making a start
Tess had us playing the very first day
God this is a doddle we thought
“What auction?” we gasped as she moved us along
That was Mini Bridge you were just taught.
And on to the real stuff the very next week
Balanced hands were the thing at the time
We learned One No Trump and how to respond
And a thing called the Limit Bid Rhyme.
There were Takeouts and Dustbins
Suit changing and forcing
And new rules from seven to twenty
Play high that means AYE, so low must mean NO
How come by brain feels so empty?
You start with a SWOT and move on to a SQOT
Did I mention finessing and ruffing?
There are attitude signals and
Losing Trick Counts
If you don’t play your ace you are bluffing.
And if eight means it’s ever, then nine must be never
Then there’s overcalls, doubles and more
Singletons, doubletons, voids don’t forget
Am I vulnerable? Yes that’s for sure!
Then there’s Stayman and Blackwood
Pre-empts and cues
Red Suit transfers make sure you are winning
Top of an honour, high low, lead fourth down
Oh Tessa, my head is just spinning.
I must read my homework and take it all in
Get more practice and play it on line
Did I really come last at our supervised play?
Oh well, I’ll do better next time.
On this our last day we all feel so sad
That two years have gone by so fast
We’ve loved Friday mornings and had so much fun
We really hoped they could last
We’ve all made great friends and shared many laughs
And now have a grasp of the game
We’ve a network of pals with whom we can play
Or join other groups without shame.
So thank you dear Tessa for all you have done
In your effort to teach us to play
You were patient, hard working, professional too
But still made it fun every day.
With Hilary, Anders, Rob and the rest
Our grounding is steady and sure
You’ve not seen the last of us make no mistake
Because soon we’ll be begging for more.
Elaine Goodwin July, 2011