Applicant: I am glad to be asked. What does it take to do
this?
Charlie: Well, you need to know what is happening at the club, you
need to be a decent writer and you need to include a little humor.
Applicant: A little humor? Thats funny!
Charlie: It had better be!
Applicant: I am a little nervous about this. Can I show you a draft
before you leave?
Charlie: Sure
Applicant: I will draft something and send it to you by
email
From:
Substitiute Writer
Sent: Thursday, May 10, 2012 8:05 AM
Subject: Draft Email
Charlie,
Here
is the draft.
.
Why did the
bridge player cross the road?
To get to
the bridge game!
This
week at the St. Petersburg Bridge Club, we have lots of great
activities:
Monday at 12:30 Open and 299er Games
Monday at
7:00 Club Championship Game
Tuesday at 9:30 Competitive Bidding Class
Tuesday at 9:45 Supervised Play
Tuesday at 12:30 Open Game
Tuesday at 7:00 No 99er Game this week. Get rested for the 299er
Tournament next week.
Wednesday at 9:00 Newplicate Game
Wednesday at 12:30 Open and 299er Game
Wednesday
at 7:00 Charity Game
Thursday at 9:30 2/1 Class
Thursday at
12:30 Open and 99er Club Championship Game
Thursday at 7:00 Swiss Team Game
Friday at 9:45 Superivsed Play
Friday at 10:00 Open Forum
Friday at
12:30 Open and 299er Charity Game
Saturday at 10:30 Open Game
Saturday at 7:00 Open and
299er Membership Games (Hors Doeuvres at 6:30)
Pretty good list, eh.
Three of the board members were having a discussion as to what
to do with the old cards that are discarded. The more adventurous of the three
suggested that they have a contest as to who could throw a deck the furthest.
So they wrapped up three old decks of cards in rubber bands and began. The first
director, who was a little older, hauled back and threw her deck and it went a
fair distance. The second director, a little younger, did a big wind up and
threw her deck. It went even further. The final director, took a run at it and
threw the deck who knows how far. Hmmm....I forgot the ending to this
joke.
But,
don't you forget Saturday evening May 19. It is a special
Hors D'oeuvres night. Bring your favorite hors d'oeuvres to
share at 6:30 and then play in the Open and 299ers
membership game at 7:00. Don't miss this.
Knock,
Knock.
Whos
there?
Jack.
Jack
who?
Jack-doubleton, king-queen-fifth, ace-fourth, queen-doubleton and
your right hand opponent opens 1H.
299ers, dont forget the
299er Silver Point Tournament on May 22, 24 and 27. If you need a partner or
a team for May 27, email cfgill@verizon.net
Did you hear
about the travelling salesman, the farmer and the farmers daughter? They had to
wake up the farmers wife so they had a fourth to play
bridge.
Two
great bridge games are coming up on Friday June 1 at 7:00 and on Saturday June
2 at 10:30. The Worldwide Bridge
Contests. These are great events and you get a great book analyzing the
hands. Friday June 1 is also birthday
night at which all people with June birthdays will get a free play. Don't
miss this. The games usually attract a number of people and are subsidized so
that only the regular fee is charged. A great bargain.
A lawyer, an
accountant, a rabbi and a bridge director were playing bridge at the beach.
There were lots of big birds flying overhead. A few were struggling to keep fish
that they had caught in their mouths. Just as the rabbi played the ace of spades
(Rabbi's rule!), something plopped on the table.
Charlie: A fish?
Nope! A deck of old cards wrapped in rubber bands.
Charlie,..... what are you doing in this draft email?
Charlie: Well, I am here to tell you that this is not a draft. You
must have hit the Send to All button when you thought you were sending only me
the draft! So, everyone has seen it already! But dont worry, it wont hurt to
let the people know about such great events early. I am sure that they will see
you at the club.