This is the first of a series of supplements, planned for the next ten years or so, to answer the many questions that club members continue to ask, demonstrating (en passant, as it were) the lively intellectual curiosity of the inhabitants of the tourist mecca that is the beautiful Waveney Valley.

This month we explain the complex mechanism which swings into action at the end of play every Friday afternoon, to ensure that, in the absence of an evening sports results edition of the morning newspaper (often printed on pink or green paper, for those of you reading in black and white), the needs of members, their families and the wider public are satisfied and not ignored.

Now read on...

Here we see the scene late on Friday afternoon when the play of the boards for the session is almost complete.  Tension is rising; for some members the thought of a long, possibly difficult journey home looms like a sandstorm on the horizon of the Sahara, for others the chore of an afternoon's forced jollity to satisfy social norms is coming to an end; for yet others the winding down of the afternoon's delightful pleasure is a time of sadness.  There are often tears at this point.  Fortunately, the club has copious stocks of tissues which are available for use, providing they are returned, clean and pressed, the following week.

It now becomes necessary to transfer the travellers, containing the results of every hand played, and by whom, in conditions of utter security, to the data processing centre used by the club.

The travellers are folded tightly and secreted in any innocent object which happens to be convenient, perhaps a pet dog, maybe a hollow tooth, sometimes a pocket watch.

The picture shows one of our members, disguised as an officer of the law, about to leave the village hall, nonchalantly holding the travellers concealed in one of his very own vegetables.

Here is seen the frenetic activity as the travellers arrive and the results are entered into the massive electronic brains present.  Note the intense concentration displayed by the gentleman in the background (on secondment from NASA) as the operation begins.

Be impressed also by the evidence of up-to-date gender equality in the presence of the lady data processor on the right.  Her reponsibility is to stand to one side with a piece of paper, look attractive and make the tea.  Oh, and iron the man's shirt as well.  No gender stereotyping here in Dickleburgh, as you can see!

A well-behaved crowd stands quietly outside the town hall waiting for the announcement of the results.  This is a regular scene of a late Friday afternoon here as friends and relatives of club members congregate in an expression of solidarity, bless them.  The bus which may be just visible in the picture is driven by the only person in this area who is not interested in bridge and is concerned only to get home for his evening meal.  Several of the crowd were crushed in this incident, although not too seriously.

Once the processing of results is finished, the information has to be transferred to the official announcer.  This done by the club's Chief Processed Results Carrier, seen here with family, cycling to the club's Head of Announcements Section.

For puposes of security neither of the two cycling adults can be confirmed as the official carrier, although it should be realised that the angry child in the trailer will bite anyone who comes near.

At last the moment arrives when the results of the afternoon's play can be announced.  The Head of Announcements Section takes the printed results and sings them out, to the tune of 'Old MacDonald had a Farm', the assembled crowd joining in enthusiastically with the animal noises.

(The trainee Deputy Announcer has positioned himself bady in front of the megaphone and has been hurled into his chair by the force of the sound.)

All excitement over, the crowd disperses peacefully for another week, the winners (shown in the insert) rejoin their suspiciously large families for a neighbourhood celebration before retiring, as we all do, with a good book on bridge strategy and tactics.