I’m giving up bridge – tonight’s my last night.

It’s Amen to Stayman, I give up the fight.

The insults and muddles are giving me troubles and I can’t sleep at night for thinking of doubles.

My cards are all rotten and I have forgotten what’s trumps and what’s gone on my right!

So for now it’s all over – I’m off to the backwood, I’m bidding goodbye to Gerber and Blackwood.

I can’t stand the hassle, I can’t stand the pain, I’m getting those bad cards again and again.

I’m giving up bridge – tonight’s a bad night, declarer is horrid and nothing’s gone right.

My partner’s a dope and I’m losing all hope And when she says ”double”, I know we are in trouble.

My points are not high, and I’m wondering why she kept on bidding right up to the sky.

We’re in seven spades and all my hope fades when surprise, surprise, her bidding pays. We’re winning all the tricks and the defenders feel sick and I have to admit that my partner’s a brick.

But I’m giving up bridge – tonight’s my last night.

Farewell to conventions – I give up the fight!

So I leave with few words but some that are true,

Bridge is a game not for me but for you.

So be kind to your partners and don’t mind their cheek.

For It’s only a game – oh! and by the way, I’ll see you next week!